guYs....gUys...GuyS..

This is not suppose to be the blog of today....I should write "me-n-my-love" update vs this f***ing stupid-idiot-shit-bastard guy!! (ooppss sorry for all the xxx words)

I'm started to get phobia with word "guys" (okok admited NOT all the guy), just specifially for the @^$*@$@&$%&@$%@$% guy. Arrggghhhhhh !!! I am out of control. *breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.....phewwwww... much better now.

FUCK!!! today am totally blank of how to express this..all I knew is I am feeling totally on fire, a hot burning fire inside!!!

I totally can't get it right no matter how many times I tried to get this brain thinking and pondering ..... how can guy simply came into your life in a sec and claimed they are so passionately in love with you, bringing along their thoundsand of promises and the I jump, you jump sweet talks BUT then within another mins......digging out the 101 reasons of "how good you are to them and they don't deserve you" then just stab u hard through the heart...and leave you bleeding to death!

It's been countless time I've been stab with the sharp knive YET...I never wake up *banging head on the pillow ~~not eh stupid to bang on the wall leh! Feeling really hurt this time AGAIN, it was like the history repeating it over and over again.

Am I the one that being foolish to love so deep? to give in so much ? and trusted a person so easily???? Come on...someone pluezeeeeee slap me will you!!! Juz wake me up for once and for all !!!

9 yrs back, the same thing happened, I have this close friend who betrayed me after sharing with her of my rship problems ...after 9 yrs now...I encountered the same feeling, though how much I wanted to believe, there's always a true friendship, which we get so often to wrote it during our schooldays....Friends forever, Friendship last forever bla bla bla...F***ing shit !!!

Guess throughout this life either I was being curse with the wrong guy or curse to trust people so easily ....to open up.... and share my whole fucking life with them...CILAKA BETUL!!

Blame not on anyone BUT myself....so GOD PLUESEEEEEEEE let the curse END here!

P/S: WARNING SIGN: "I like you or you are someone close I can talk too but anything is possible, but I'm warning you because I like you, I don't want you to get hurt so it should be no commitment at this time...it's like if i didnt like you i wouldnt' care attitude ~~translates into guy-speak as:

"Well, I fancy you and we could have sex but not in the market for a commitment right now, so don't get upset with me if we do have sex and nothing comes out of it."

"They didn't know what they wanted or who they were. It was an experiment to try and find that out"

"He still wants to fuck other people."