fAlLinG sIck AGAIN!!!

Yesterday & the day before:
Again falling sick and was out from work for 1.5 days. The whole body was totally exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally tired. Went off to bed early about 8p+. Trying to get to bed then but the whole body was shivering and sweating, I felt suffocated and can't breath....my mind was blackout....I can't think of anything at all...

In the darkness, all that flashes through was the emptiness feelings, being alone and I kept drowning, drowning, and drowning in the pool of tears....for the first time after so many months I cried to my sleep AGAIN...

Today:
I woke up early in the morning feeling dizzy and weak, pulling myself out from bed, take a shower and trying to work. The head was so heavy I ended up lying on the couch and took 2 aspirin and snoozed off till late afternoon...

In the middle of my sleep, I was awaken by the sounds of the chime in my bedroom... outside the wind was blowing so hard....forcing the clapper to tune to it melodies, suddenlly it reminds me of the gift's owner...

I was listening to the musical instrument played by the little piper chime...the musical effect when strucked really creates a pleasant sound....remembering once I was told, the flute player actually symbolized happiness and joy and it's believed to bring prosperity and abundant too.....and I believed at that time this gift was meant for the purposes.

Somehow, somehow at that moment, my tears suddenlly rolled down...thinking was it really bringing happiness or just the other way...???